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| just thought that you should know that i'm in a good relationship now with someone who i just so happen to really like and now i realize that i can be happy without you. just thought that you should know that i don't need you anymore and that i'm over it. me writing this isn't me greiving and asking for attention. its me saying final goodbyes to what i once felt for you. i don't feel that anymore and i don't care if you don't care because fact is, one day you'll realize that what we could've had could've been beautiful but you messed it up. yeah you messed it up. this time it wasn't me. i'm not going to blame this on myself because i didn't do anything wrong. you'll realize one day that you made one of the biggest mistakes in your entire life doing what you did. meanwhile i'll be perfectly fine, living my happy life, and i probably won't even remember your name anymore. the fact that you did what you did doesn't hurt anymore and i just thought that you should know this. the only thing that really sucks about this is that you ruined a couple of my favorite songs temporarily. because one day i'll be able to listen to them and enjoy the song instead of being disgusted by thoughts of you.
that's about it.
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| i get cheated on because i don't do enough to keep my boyfriends. GASP its a break through! shouldn't i have figured this out sooner? oh well. i don't care. now i know. but now i really don't want a relationship. or do i? i don't know. maybe i do. i think i'm looking in all the wrong places. i think i'm looking for all the wrong reasons. i think i'm looking for love, not a relationship. which isn't good, according to stephanie (evil hippie therapist that likes rainbows). so i should look for a suttle relationship with a guy that i'm not trying to fall in love with.. yet. i should grow a relationship.. i mean BUILD a relationship and i should do stuff. more stuff. like call him more and stuff.. damn i hate the phone. ugh stupid phone. why must it be such an important part of a relationship? late night phone calls? pssh. or wait.. is that supposed to be cute? romantic? screw it. i need soda but i gave up soda. i should go take some sleeping pills. i think they'd make me relax and stop over thinking everything. like now.
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| which kinda creeps me out because all along i thought no one did so i've been writing stuff that i really wish other people wouldn't read but oh well, i can't do anything about it now.
so far today, dentist appointment. then came home, found out grandmother has cancer. what a pleasant day.
umm.. my birthday was pretty awesome. it was on the 31st if any of you didn't know.
i'm for sure no longer moving. bleh.
that's about it.
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| it makes you depressed. yup. but guess what. i haven't really cried in almost 2 months. yayyyyyyyyy. i think i've gotten back to my numb spot where i just don't care anymore, and you know what? i used to always want out of that position, but now i'm pretty happy that i'm like this again.
camp was awesome. SUPER cool concert. mosh pits and stuff. yeahhhh. um.. counselling, ugh. then i got back today and had to go to counselling AGAIN and i have to make more confessions to people but no one IMed me so i'm not doing it. well, at least the people that i'm supposed to talk to haven't. well they did earlier but i didn't know what i was supposed to tell them earlier.. anyways!
mmk thanks bye.
PS. birthday is in two days.
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| and then all the girls can turn lesbian and the guys can't watch them make out because they will all be dead. i'm going to chop their balls off and feed them to the sharks.
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